Hello.

I've been meaning to do this for a long time.

So says the girl with many mixed feelings on blogs. Remember Xanga? My parents didn't have the internet until I was well out of the house, so I updated my Xanga account at the public library, taking great care to sign out, even in 1997 before we realized online security was a thing.

I updated my Xenga blog in my dorm room, rudely keeping the desk lamp bright as my roommate managed to sleep through the click clacking of my fingers on keys. I updated that blog in my boyfriend's first apartment, the dingy basement walls slightly damp in the summer. I graduated from Xenga, broke up with the boyfriend (two very different activities that happened at about the same time) and started taking creative writing courses. A new boy, a new blog, and by this time, online bullying was in the burgeoning stages of being our brand new reality. 

To be blunt: shitty things were said to me in comments in that blog by classmates in my creative writing classes. I was too involved with the new boy, I thought too highly of myself, I sucked up to our creative writing teacher, this, that, another thing. I quit blogging instantly, keeping my journal, and almost all of my writing to myself for a decade. 

I began to write Wonderland. I knew, eventually, I'd want to publish Wonderland. In very late 2018, the search for an agent began. It continues today, and I wonder if my lack of an online presence has at the very least hindered the process. 

Even if it hasn't, I have things to say. I'm tired of hiding my work, my smarts, my thoughts. So here I am, the day after Christmas, setting up not only a blog, but an actual website where I intend to share Things. 

I hope you come back. I will. I'm, like, 93% sure I will. 

Steph