Love Prince Harry's spare? Here are a few fictional royals!

Society as we know it, falls into one of two very clear, divisive categories. Everyone has an opinion. Depending on where you live, that opinion borders on a political statement. It even came up at dinner with my family recently. The gossip, the fallout. Who’s lying? Who’s not? Who has something to hide? What’s he hiding? (My mother: invested. My dad: less so. My brother: OVER it, and the news cycle needs to move on. Me: Here for the…*checks notes* tea.)

You have to pick a side. You just do. 

So you tell me: are you sick of the British Royals? 

I keep thinking I should be. I should have been sick of them a year ago. But I like mess. I like big messes. I like big, arching, generation-spanning family drama that I can sink my teeth into and lose hours on Wikipedia. And this, as we all know, is a big. Damn. Mess. 

In the interest of being candid, I have not yet finished Spare, as much as I want to. The spoilers have been minimal, and for that I am grateful, but there’s something about Harry’s voice (the written voice, not his actual voice, which is also quite pleasant) that makes me keep reaching for the book, despite its weight, in both printed pages and consequence. It’s his candidness, I think. All of this was intended to remain behind palace walls for the rest of eternity, and now it's out, and that itself is fascinating. 

And here I thought the Kardashians were the most dysfunctional.

I digress. Because talking about Spare is like wading into a tub of alligators, or a daycare room with a fistful of suckers you have no intention of sharing, I’d rather talk about other royal-themed books. (They’re fiction, though they may rely on reality for both reference to jewels and parts of well-trod history.) In the event that you’re not sick of the Royals, and may even be hosting a lil’ itch to spend more time in such a fanciful, stuffy, golden-plated world, I got you. 

THE ROYAL WE: Bex travels to Oxford for her studies. She’s from Chicago. A big ol’ Cubs fan, her dreams of seeing ‘em finally win are just as big dreams of finding herself overseas. Her family is of new money, and surprising absolutely no one, there ain’t much new money found at Oxford. In fact, most of her classmates come from very, very old money. Perhaps even from a nobler blood. 

Enter: Nick. He’s down to earth, and yeah, he’s got undercover bodyguards, but at university he’s so well insulated that they blend into the antique and well varnished woodwork. Nick has a little brother, a playboy, a dreamer, and a dad who’s pretty stuffy and hands-off, and a granny whose face is on printed currency. Whatever, Bex thinks. Life is short. Nick is chill. Nick is kind. Nick is easy to fall in love with. 

Nick is the heir to the British crown. And everything that goes with it. 

But the reality of dating the third in line is heavy on Bex’s head - much like a crown. Loving Nick comes with a price: relentless paps, flat-out wrong gossip, a list of ex-girlfriends that make much more sense on paper than Bex, the pressure of not ever stepping out of line, the panty hose and pumps and broaches the size of her face, the giving up of everything Bex has ever known. 

Bex agonizes: can she do it? Can she be herself, and be the future Queen? 

Of note: The Royal We was written by my two all-time favorite bloggers, Heather Cocks and Jessica Morgan, the Fug Girls, of Go Fug Yourself. They taught me that the Breton stripe has a name, a little lippy goes a long way (both on one’s lips and in sassiness) and that it’s entirely okay to still call Joshua Jackson “Pacey”. Also, they liked a tweet of mine once, and it knocked my socks right off. 

BUY HERE
TAYLOR ERAS: Lover, Reputation + New Romantics

THE HEIR AFFAIR: The sequel to The Royal We, without spoiling , picks right up in the days following the end of the first book. Family shenanigans evolve (Granny turns out to be quite the handful), secrets are uncovered, and Nick and Bex learn that there’s a timeline in place to produce yet another heir, but of course, it comes with difficulty. Bex continues to come to terms with more reality of thriving inside one of the world’s most famous institutions and businesses: what good is a family tree if the roots aren’t as tangled as the branches high above?  

BUY HERE
TAYLOR ERAS: Folklore and Midnights


AMERICAN ROYALS: The Revolutionary War happened. The colonies were freed. But rather than adopting the democracy we know today, George and Martha Washington were offered King and Queen, rather than President and First Lady. Today, the Washington family still rules America, and Princess Beatrice, a recent graduate of Kings College just down the road from the palace, finds herself preparing to become the country’s first Queen. Meanwhile, Bea’s siblings, Prince Jefferson and Princess Samantha run the royal roost, traveling, skipping class, falling in love, enjoying and questioning their lives - their freedom - as the heirs. While her siblings galavant all over, Princess Beatrice longs for freedom to marry the man she loves, who is absolutely not an option. When disaster hits the Washingtons, and America, Beatrice only then begins to appreciate what her father, the King, prepared her for.   

BUY HERE
TAYLOR ERAS: 1989, Fearless (TV) + Long Live

RED, WHITE, AND ROYAL BLUE: My favorite enemies-to-lovers novel of all time. I add Casey McQuisition’s book because it's so underground, so unheard of, so never-covered-on-TikTok, so not un-famous, so not mid-movie-filming, or special-edition-released, or so dearly beloved that it spawned many an Etsy shop with embroidered slogans from the book, that I wanted to be the first to tell you about this delightful underrated tale that no one's ever heard of. 

Wait, sorry? You’ve heard of it? History? Bet somebody made some. (Ifykyk.)

BUY HERE
TAYLOR ERAS: Midnights, Reputation, Red

After Red, White, and Royal Blue exploded onto the scene - initially I couldn’t find a copy to save my life - I had a feeling a royal (sorry) onslaught of royal-themed books would come along. It happened. It wasn’t quite as intense as the vampire and supernatural teen love stories that bloomed overnight post Twilight, but take a walk through YA and some adult fiction aisles in bookstores now. If anything, Spare will rouse the royal-obsessed among us. Clearly, it sells.

What’s your favorite book (fiction or not) featuring royals?